I can’t believe the day is finally here… the past 9 days have felt like WEEKS and I have never been so excited to give blood. I couldn’t sleep last night and I woke up DH around 6am because I couldn’t lie in silence any longer. Turns out he couldn’t sleep either and we both joked about how today was about to change the rest of our lives.
As we drove down to Lone Tree the anxiety was high but we both tried to keep the mood light. We jammed to a little Taylor Swift and tried to come up with ideas that would keep us occupied for the rest of the morning. I checked in and just minutes later they called my name and we both jumped with anticipation.
It’s no surprise that they had trouble finding a good vein and then had trouble with my blood pressure. Three sticks included one extremely uncomfortable underarm vein and twenty-five minutes (yes 25… for a BLOOD DRAW) later we were done and was told someone would call us today with the results. We went to breakfast and could barely eat – even though it had been less than an hour I watched my phone like a hawk.
I know quite a few women who cycled at my clinic and know they call no later than lunchtime with beta results. So as 11:45am rolled around, the knots in my stomach started getting larger and larger. The minutes felt like hours and I had DH call my phone numerous times just to make sure it rang. My phone has been fussy lately and I was terrified the call wouldn’t come through. But of course DH said “your phone is fine, they’ll call.” (He thinks I can be dramatic about my phone sucking) 30 minutes later still no call and now every worse case scenario was running through my mind. DH officially started to panic as well and we ended up sitting on the couch in complete silence.
My phone still hadn’t rang at 1pm and I was near a breakdown, WHY HADN’T THEY CALLED? Then at 1:03pm a ping went on off and sure enough I had a new voicemail (but no missed call!!!!!!!) from my clinic.
“Hi. It’s Brittany from ____. I have your results, please call me.” Click. No tenderness, no emotion, just flatness…. Cue breakdown.
After spending 5 minutes weeding through the after-hours message service and finally getting a nurse, Amy, she puts me on hold. At this point I am convinced it’s negative and trying not to hyperventilate.
She picks back up and at 1:09pm MT said “______? Yes, ok. It’s POSITIVE, you’re pregnant. Congratulations!!!!!”
I couldn’t breath and I didn’t listen to a single word that came after- I just sat in DH’s arms and sobbed. I have never heard the words “you’re pregnant” before and the emotions running through me at that very moment is something I will never be able to describe.
I spent the next five minutes trying to compose myself as she rattled off instructions and other information that I couldn’t even wrap my head around. Through the chaos I finally remember to ask “wait, what’s my actual number?”
“It’s 383.9 – like I said honey you’re VERY pregnant! That’s a really strong beta.”
So there you have it. I am pregnant. And it feels SO AMAZING to say that. I am pregnant, I am pregnant, I AM PREGNANT!!!
(And DH has finally agreed to get me a new phone….)