This morning was my second freak-out of the cycle. (First being my FedEx breakdown. Good times.) As I laid on the bed icing my stomach watching DH mix and prep my injection I couldn’t help but notice he was struggling……
“Are you sure that’s the right amount, seems like a lot?”
“I can’t get all of it out, like the needle must be messed up.”
I ask to try and as I pulled the medicine up in the vial I noticed half the sodium chloride was still in the canister but we already had 1cc of fluid in the syringe.
“How much dilutant did you put in here?!?!” I shriek.
“The whole bottle of it, 2cc or so.”
“WHAT? It’s only supposed to be ONE. Do you not remember having leftover fluid yesterday and you even commenting it’s weird they give you extra? What if the shot is over-diluted and doesn’t work now?!”
“Honey, I am really sorry. I messed up but it’s going to be ok, it’s still the same amount of powder.”
At this point I am hysterically crying and basically feel like the world is ending. It’s 6:45am and the office isn’t open yet so I can’t call but I have to stay on medication schedule – what do I do?!?!
We make the executive decision thanks to Google to give me the shot as is and call the office as soon as they open. While Menopur is probably the most painful of the subcutaneous injections, none of these shots have been nearly as bad as I thought they would be. Well this one stung like a bitch.
DH went off to work and I decided to stay home to call my nurse just in case I need another dose. At this point I would actually say my nurse and I are friends. (I think this happens a lot when you have a nurse you actually like and see daily.) She’s my age, she’s funny, she’s incredibly patient and kind, she’s knowledgeable, she doesn’t get annoyed with my excessive questions and need for more information, and she has endo too. She also knows I am a little bit of an anxiety prone A-type….
“Did we completely ruin my whole cycle? OMG like what if they stop growing because they need more Menopur…” (Yes, I realize how crazy this sounds is as I write it out.)
She just laughs “You’re not dying, all you did was make the shot a bit more painful than usual because of the extra sodium chloride. I promise you, everything will be ok and you still got the appropriate dose.”
After she talked me off the ledge I texted DH and just said “Shanna said I am dying. Whole cycle a bust.”
He didn’t think it was too funny. Apparently my hysteria made him feel pretty bad and I couldn’t help but laugh. We’re both rational adults and I nearly strangled him over 1cc of dilutant.
I apologized but this reminded me to be gentle with him. He’s going through this process too and he’s being really amazing about it all. He gives me every shot. He brings me an ice pack and ginger ale when I feel nauseous. He cooks dinner every night and never makes me lift a finger around the house. He takes me to every single appointment when he’s not working. He says all of my crazy hippie affirmations and even lays with me as I do fertility focused meditations.
He’s as good of an IVF husband as I could have ever dreamed of and I need to remember that, even if sometimes he forgets to follow directions… 😀