I thought I had an evening to bask in my ignorance, I thought I could spend one more night pretending the world wasn’t crashing down around me.  You know when your RE is calling you personally at 6:33pm that the news probably isn’t positive. Dr M knew the nurse likely hinted at an issue and called me as soon as she had some time to review the results and look at my past records.

Bilateral blockages. Anatomically incorrect. Hydrosalpinx. Scar tissue. Another laparoscopy and tube ligation needed.

She tells me my surgery will likely needed soon, my tubes aren’t even laying in the correct spot or facing the right direction and if we don’t correct the fluid issue (the fluid from my tubes flows back in to my uterus creating a toxic environment that prevents both fertilization and implantation) then there’s a high chance I will never get pregnant, naturally or through IVF.

At the end of our call she says, “I know I just unloaded a lot but I wanted you to be mentally prepared. I wanted you to start thinking out our next appointment and get your head wrapped around things. I am sorry, I know how much this is to take in. We’ll get you scheduled for a follow-up with me and we’ll go from there. Again, I am so sorry but we’ll get this figured out.” Apparently this wasn’t enough for DH, “I don’t get why she skirted around it and didn’t just come out and say it right away. She didn’t want to tell you.”

Would you want to tell a 28 year old that she will need yet another surgery, will lose her tubes and will never be able to conceive without IVF? No, didn’t think so.  I appreciated the heads up… she saved my dignity by allowing me to have my breakdown in my bathroom rather than her office.

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