Redbook and Resolve started a fantastic campaign “The Truth about Trying” cataloging videos of celebrities and real women from across the world talking about their struggles trying to conceive. I am familiar with endo warriors such as Susan Sarandon, Padma, and Whoopi Goldberg but it was very interesting to learn about other women who for different reasons have struggled to conceive.
One of videos that stood out to me was that of Elisabeth Rohm, a gorgeous actress I have always loved, and her discussion on how it impacts one’s identity and sense of self as a woman. Honestly, I am the hardest on myself about this very issue – endometriosis and the toll it has taken on my body has destroyed my sense of self. I no longer feel like a “normal” woman.
Elisabeth says, “The ability to have children makes men and women divinely different and if you can’t do that are you a whole woman? How does it make you feel about your femininity? I don’t feel so beautiful, I don’t feel so feminine. I feel broken.”
I know that feeling, that same gut wrenching feeling you get every morning when you wake up and realize that you’re still as infertile or in as much pain as you were yesterday. I can’t do the ONE thing God created a woman’s body for. I don’t care what anyone says to me, I feel broken and empty inside – each and every day.
I really work at trying to overcome my feelings of insecurity and hopelessness and I haven’t quite figured out what works best yet. I have to remind myself daily that I am worthy and that I am just as much of a woman as others. It’s a hard process but I know with time, I will one day feel like a whole woman again.